lost

I am lost. Got to admit.

Friend, thanks for giving me a headache. Dont worry, I still love you, as a friend. Dont hate me.

Friends, I want to say I love you, each one of you. That the whole reason for what I had done. The posts. I hate it too see any one of you got 'lost'. I felt miserable when I see one. I just dont know how to help. Especially when I got to meet some of you guys in this break.

I have been looking for the answer through this whole raya break. And I still do not have the answer. Thats going to explain about my lack of post. Its not about "what", it the "how" question I have been looking.

God, I know You have the reason for what is happening.

The Three I

On the authority of Umar, radiyallahu'anhu, who said,

"While we were one day sitting with The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu'alayhi wassalam, there appeared before us a man dressed in extremely white clothes, and with very black hair. No traces of journeying were visible on him and none of us knew him.

He sat down close by the Prophet sallallahu'alayhi wassalam, rested his knee against his thighs, and said "O Muhammad! Inform me about Islam."

Messenger of Allah, sallallahu'alayhi wassalam, said, "Islam is that you should testify there is no god except Allah and that Muhammad is His Messenger, that you should perform salah, pay the zakat, fast during Ramadhan, and perform Hajj to the House, if you could find the way to it."

Said he (the man), "You have spoken the truth."

We were astonished at his questioning him and telling him that he was right, but he went on to say, "Inform me about Iman." He (The Messenger) answered "Is that you believe in Allah and His angels and His Books and His Messengers and in the Last Day, and in fate, both in its good and its evil aspects."

He said: You have spoken the truth.

Then he (the man) said, "Inform me about Ihsan."

He (The Messenger of Allah) answered, "It is that you should serve Allah as thought you could see Him, for thought you cannot see Him but He sees you."

The man said, "Inform me about The Hour."

He (The Messenger of Allah) said, "About that the one questioned knows no more than the questioner."

So he said, "Well inform me about the signs (of its coming)."

He (The Messenger of Allah) said, "They are that the slave-girl will give birth to her mistress, that you will see the bare-footed ones, the naked, the destitute, the herdsmen of the sheep (competing each other) in raising lofty buildings."

Thereupon the man went off.

I waited a while, and then he (The Messenger of Allah) said, "O 'Umar, do you know who that questioner was?"

I replied, "Allah and His Messenger know best."

He said, "That was Jibril. He came to teach to you your religion." "

Copied from a video posted on the facebook.

hApPy EiD ~

So I would like to say Happy Eid to everyone I know and asking for forgiveness for all faults and wrongdoings I had done. pEacE~ =D

Anyway this year I did not send any sms wishing happy eid except replying those who had wished me. Err I have my reasons. Oke2 fine one of the reason is that I am too lazy.

The 'good' reason is that I think I dont want to be biased among my frens and if I am to start sending sms wishing happy eid, I am going to send to too many people since everyone of my friend should be wished to be fair(kan?). So I just post a wish and asking forgiveness at the fb, and here I guess.

oh and because of that I felt a little guilty for not sms-ing anyone, I start to check the wall of fb and replying those who had posted their happy eid .......-.-''

mcam poyo lak tulis camni.....

Haaa I just explain so that none of my friends going to be 'terase'. Sape yang tak bagus ah.

Selamat merapatkan silaturahim!

.......

I just dont know how to write this.

Some times I thought its their fault. They dont understand. Then when I taught again, is it really my fault at the first place?

I just dont get it.

FRIEND,

is such a big word.

I am sorry, to everyone.

Pension

arh, finally =.= the initial plan was to write this during the last weekend, but what happened was I could not on9 on those days, the koop wi-fi was out of reach. Even now I had to borrow someone's broadband.....tanx to the renovation done at the wispi.

So anyway, I already retired last tuesday, after new president had been elected in an evening meeting, straight after the election on Monday nite. I did the selection asap because they, the new srcs, are going to have a lot of work as soon as they got their responsibility. Ikhya Ramadhan, Merdeka Celebration, Hari Raya Feast, director's retirement etc etc.....

Well honestly, I felt a little awkward after the meeting on that night. The most annoying question I asked to myself was, "Had I done my job properly?"...... I dont know.

A lot of thing had happened, and learned. I am going to say that, I felt as if I stayed at kms for 2 years. No, what I want to say is, the year that was like 2 years in jasin. Heyh I remembered how time flow so fast, when you have a lot of things to think in your head. Everyday was mostly, never the same. When I rarely had a free evening in a week. When nights were filled with discussions until 11 or 12. When recess was the only time I had to meet the heads of the college; director, hep or hea, and the teachers as well. When there was always tasks coming everyday from teachers or staffs, while there were still on going tasks that havent done. When I was busy doing the tasks, more things arise that require my part. And of course, those things havent include the homeworks and assignment by teacher. Thats how it make, my days was mostly different. And when you had to go through different days everyday, you will not realise the time passed by.

I met and mixed with a lot of people. Pak cik rahman, abang amir, akak noriah, akak2 office, tn hj tamam, dr noraini, pn mariyam, oh yes, the dedicated ex-director, pn hasyimah, and another great director too, sir maytias, the stuffs, and teachers. And not to forgot my fellow src members and the students.

The experiences are priceless. I learned the art of persuading, the importance of giving motivation to your subordinates, how to argue your opinion, the importance of being patience, how things work such as organising an event, and the most, the art of talking.... =D haha I was a guy who dont know how to speak, my first speech was nonsense. And there was always time come that required me to say something. I remember in my first week after I got my position, my mentor, ms lee asked me to say something during a celebration party. I dont know what to say, and there goes my nonsense again. She said to me, "You need to learn how to talk, because after this you are going to talk a lot"....ha ha =). Thought up until now I am not really a good speaker, but I learn to speak up front of crowded people quiet err, oke.

If you going to ask me what I learn, I learn a lot. I got a little idea how the life of prime minister is =D. And I realise, in real life, we are not going to use all those maths and sciences knowledge in dealing with people. Instead, we need the knowledges of inter-personal skills. Those skills is not being taught in class, they are acquired by experiences of meeting and communicating with other people. And do you want to know who looked for example when I dont know what to do at certain time?....

I choose the best person to follow, and the best person is of course, prophet Muhammad pbuh.

And there the importance of reading and understand how our prophet thought and did. It works =D

And funny, I never really thought that I was going to be a president. I remember when I was in jasin, looking at my presiden giving his speech during monthly assembly, I had a slight thought, "Is there any chance that I will be at his place, giving speech every time. Could I do it?" I just smile laughing at myself," NO way".

Anyway, I got a feeling that I am not going to seek any position like that anymore. Its not that I regret the path I had choose, its just I would not dare to hold the responsibility such as like that again, its too big that I always had a terrifying feeling in myself if I do not do any work I should be doing, then I will asked about it 'later'.....-.-

soon

Tomorrow will be the next election. Then there will be few more things for me to do with the new srcs. And my journey as src is coming to an end in approximately a week or less.

I think I am going have a lot more time after this. InsyAllah this blog will not as slow as before haa.

Soon, soon.....

oh yes, I still dont have any idea what I should be saying in my last speech -.-', a little bit thanks and sorry I guess.

bOok

Al-Jaahiz, an Arab writer from centuries ago, advised one to repel anxiety through reading of book:

"The book is a companion that does not praise you and does not entice you to evil. It is a friend that does not bore you, and it is a neighbor that causes you no harm. It is an acquaintance that desires not to extract from you favors through flattery, and it does not deceive you with duplicity and lies. When you are poring trough the pages of a book, your senses are stimulated and your intellect sharpens....Through reading the biographies of others, you gain an appreciation of common people while learning the ways of kings. It can even be said that you sometimes learn from the pages of a book in a month, that which you do not learn from the tongues of men in a century.

All this benefit, yet no loss in wealth and no need to stand at the door of the teacher who is waiting for his fees or to learn from someone who is lower than you in manners. The book obeys you by night as it does by day, both when you are travelling and you are at home. A book is not impaired by sleep not does it tire in the late hours of the night. It is the teacher who is there for you whenever you in need of it, and it is a teacher who, if you refuse to give to it, does not refuse to give to you. If you abandon it, it does not decrease in obedience. And when all turn against you, showing you enmity, it remains by your side.

As long as you are remotely attached to a book, it suffices you from having to keep company with those that are idle. It prevent you from sitting on your doorstep and watching those who pass by. It saves you from mixing with those that are frivolous in their character, foul in their speech, and woeful in their ignorance. If the only benefit of a book was to that it to keep you from foolish daydreaming and prevent you from frivolity, it would be considered a true friend who has given you a great favor."

Extracted from book "Dont Be Sad (La Tahzan)" written by Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni.

Err I found this beautiful descriptions of book in "La Tahzan" book and decided to make an effort to copy every word of it. What I want to say? Let read, and read, and read hehe.

p/s: the best book to be read and understand of course is The Holy Quran. Dont believe me? read and understand it, the meanings. =)